Being a virgin CMA Fest-er, I was not quite prepared to handle the physical and psychological abuse of my first journey into the mob of CMA Fest fansters. After 20 minutes of stop and go rubbernecking (not to be confused with goosenecking), I decided the only way I would get anywhere I was trying to go was to harness the city slickerness that recides in most of us and simply walk on the street rather than the sidewalk... which brings me to my first rule of CMA Fest: (1) Walk on the street.My goal was simply to cover as much distance as possible in the 30 minutes I had to waste downtown. I was mesmerized as the stereotypes we have all grown to appreciate came alive right in front of me. I subconsciously started playing Fingo in my head. I can honestly say I've never seen so many sleeveless (or shirtless for that matter) men in my life, but that's what makes it fun right? My 30 minute tour was not fruitless, though. As I turned the last corner before heading back to work, I spotted a character of which I was quite familiar. That's right, Manhattan's famous Naked Cowboy. Ironically, he was the least crass individual on the entire block (even from the back). This brings me to my second and final rule of CMA Fest: (2) If you want to fit in, wear as few clothes as possible.
